But the reality is that whenever we meet someone new, they make an assessment about who we are and what category we fit into.

-Are you a potential friend?
-A potential client?
-A momentary social encounter?
-A potential date? 😉

Or are you a potential mentor, coach, healer or practitioner who could change their life forever?

I’m guessing you would like more people to make this last judgment about you.

Unfortunately, if you don’t create instant credibility for yourself within the first one to three minutes of meeting them, you’re not likely to fit into this last category.

Most Coaches and Holistic Practitioners haven’t yet mastered how to create instant credibility without sounding arrogant, which is one of the big reasons why they aren’t attracting enough high-quality clients.

Here’s how you can convey your expertise and establish your value without sounding arrogant.

Take yourself seriously

While it’s true that just about every person you meet is going to make a judgement about you almost immediately, the good news is that you have some say about whether that judgement is negative or positive. And when you intentionally create credibility within the first few minutes of meeting a new potential client, you’ve developed the skill of Positioning.

Think of Positioning like this: if you say something impressive about yourself during the first few minutes of a conversation with a potential client, the client will be more inclined to look up to and respect you.

If you don’t share anything impressive about yourself (or even share something unimpressive about yourself), they won’t view you as a potential mentor. No matter how great you actually are.

Now if you’re anything like me (Jesse), you’re probably bristling at the thought of sharing something impressive about yourself.

You don’t want to come across as arrogant or “braggy.”

When I first started my coaching business, I believed being modest (and hiding my greatness) made me a good person. Unfortunately, my “be modest, hide my greatness, don’t take myself too seriously” gig didn’t work so well.

I couldn’t even get one paying private client. I couldn’t even almost get a client.

Why?

I wasn’t taking myself seriously as a life coach, so no one else was taking me seriously, either.

And so, after a year of trying, I gave up.

The reason I failed had a lot to do with my mindset at the time.

I had internalized a lot of the messages I heard growing up, like:

Be humble.

Be modest.

Let go of your ego.

Don’t say anything to make someone else feel bad about themselves.

Don’t get a big head.

Don’t brag about yourself.

Don’t take yourself too seriously.

Sound familiar?

I wasted my entire first year dimming down my greatness and playing the modest card. I was missing a crucial skill needed to become successful in this business.

Had I mastered this one skill, my potential clients would have taken me seriously and I would have had a full thriving business from the start.

Which is exactly why intentional Positioning is so important.

When you share your impressiveness and then — this is key — acknowledge THEM for THEIR greatness, your acknowledgment goes so much deeper because they’re being recognized by someone they already understand to be impressive. You become the BEST kind of potential mentor — a great person who is committed to helping your potential clients see themselves as great.

If, on the other hand, you withhold your impressive qualities and even share things to downplay or question your value, you’re going to have to put in a LOT more work to win them over as a client. Unfortunately, you’ll almost certainly fail.

So you can see why these first few minutes are critical.

Do NOT hide your insecurities

Sharing what makes you impressive does NOT mean you should hide the things you’re less proud of. Your insecurities make you human. They make you likable and approachable, and your potential clients need to be able to relate to you.

In order to position yourself without sounding arrogant, you need to share your expertise AND your humanity.

But you’ve got to share these things in the proper order.

The time to share your humanity is AFTER you’ve wowed your potential client with your impressive qualities.

Here’s a short positioning template:

Even though I __________ (share something impressive about yourself) I still __________ (share an insecurity showing your vulnerability).

For example:

“Even though Sharla and I have led about 200 events, teaching more than 50,000 people how to attract more clients, I still get nervous sometimes before I first walk onstage at an event.”

Know YOU have what it takes (even if you don’t feel successful yet)

Reaching your potential clients can sometimes feel like an uphill battle (we’ve all been there!) but connecting with them in a way that they lean in and want to spend more time with you doesn’t have to be hard.

Consider this: if you were trying to help someone get to the top of a mountain, would you rather get underneath them and push them up, or stand above them and pull them up?

You’ll have a MUCH easier time pulling them up to your level.

How you describe yourself to others is a CHOICE. You get to choose how you see yourself and how you relate to other people.

Remember, you’re not at the mercy of others’ snap judgments. You can CHOOSE to write your own success story.